This is What Happens When You Call John Mayer

It is the summer of 2004.  I am a new resident of a quaint tourist town in the center of Maryland known as Annapolis.  One night while playing my acoustic guitar down at the Kunta Kinte memorial statue, I met a group of eccentric, music loving people that would soon become my best friends of nap-town.  One thing united us even more than our love of music and that was our love of John Mayer.  John Mayer was still up and coming and wasn't yet a household name.  

One night while at a raging party that included a percussion jam session in the basement, a piano concert in the living room, beer pong tournaments and great conversations about everything from musical taste to the meaning of life, I found myself chatting with one of my newly acquired friends, Allie, about our favorite John Mayer songs.  After being assured of my mutual, almost unhealthy obsession with Mr. Mayer, Allie presented a crumpled piece of white lined paper.  On this paper was a hastily written ten digit number in blue ink.  

I asked "what the hell is that"?

She responded "My sister was at a bar on Main Street a few weeks ago and she met this guy.  She said he was kind of kind of creepy and kept hitting on her.  She said he had just got done playing some show at Ram's Head and....she said his name was John Mayer or something like that."  

I already knew where this was going.  

She continued, "so, he wrote his number down and gave it to her.  When she told me what happened, I begged her to give me the number and although at first she said she didn't want me talking to a creeper, she eventually caved and since she was never going to call him she said sure why not. So I present to you, John Mayer's cell phone number."

"Holy esssssss." 


"So, you wanna call it?"

"Um....I don't NOT want to call it"

So we grab a cordless phone off the wall from inside the kitchen and scramble upstairs away from the heart of the party and the music.  Almost shaking, we huddle together, reading the number and nervously hitting the digits.  We wait.  Ring......."what if he picks up?" Ring...."what the hell are we going to say?" ring...."Just breathe"......and then we heard it

"Hi, you've reached the voice mailbox of John Mayer"


click............ some point in his early illustrious music career John Mayer received a voicemail from somebody that was a screaming sound followed by the word "shit".  Yeah.  That was me and my friend Allie.  Sorry John.  YER BERDY ERS ER WERNERNERLERND.


  • Laura Howard

    Laura Howard KDH,OBX

    Ermahgersh... that's epic!

    Ermahgersh... that's epic!

  • ryan


    uhhh.. why didn't you call back? what a horrible climax

    uhhh.. why didn't you call back? what a horrible climax

  • Shannon

    Shannon Here

    Can I have his new number thnx

    Can I have his new number thnx

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